Take off your pants
And go out in the cold
Prove to the world
You are someone who knows how to be bold
Take a shot for every shiver
Don’t need a coat I’ve got a liver
At this rate I might just forgive her
Karma’s like ice
It breaks your car once a year
But its kinda nice
When winter decides you don’t get the option to steer
Screw the heart you try to coddle
Don’t need a friend I’ve got a bottle
In winter clothes we all could be models
Let it all loose
You’re safe in the snow
Strings of bright lights
Tell you everything you need to know
I hope you know it can be risky
Comfort in nicotine and whiskey
You could be warmer if you got a bit frisky
Whatever that means
Jingle bells
All is well
Reindeer in the sky
Jingle Bells
Reindeer fell
Crashing from on high
Jingle bells
Can’t you tell
Santa clause can’t cry
Jingle Bells
Ain’t it swell
We’re all gonna die
The earth is an icicle
And it’s starting to melt
Like an old bicycle
This the shakiest I have ever felt
So I’ll just sing what the cynics are craving
Auld lang syne meets misbehaving
And merry Christmas to all that’s worth saving
Now take of your pants
All together now:
Take Off Your Pants, it’s cold outside
Jingle Bells, Cant you tell, We’re all gonna die.
credits
from Patron Saint of Grinches,
released December 27, 2018
Additional crowd vocals courtesy of: Justin Wested, Alva Joelle, Garrett Langer, Mark Sciubba, Peter Regan, Connor McNelis, Allyssa Yanniello, and Ricky Santone.
Forged Artifacts announce the sophomore release, available on limited gold cassette, from lo-fi Portlander Alexei Shishkin. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 12, 2016