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Santa's Pretty Sus

by Hiding from Helicopters

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1.
Icicle 00:43
The earth is an icicle, And it's starting to melt. Like an old bicycle, This is the shakiest I have ever felt. Tell me now, Is it too dreary? The thought of Christmas just makes me weary. It's not its fault, It comes at the end of the year.
2.
Golf Course 02:27
Locked inside a house I pay for, Forgetting the names of people, I once said I loved, and I thought I did and now I’m not sure. I’ve spent all my time carving words, Into little triangles to, Fit into your puzzle holes, But when I blink they start to grow. Cause I am not a golf course, With a hundred little workers, Measuring my blades of grass, Making me resemble nature. Never was so non offensive, Never built up wire fences, Never grew a daisy in the winter, Even she knows that’s expensive. Everyone I want is a million miles away, And I can’t wait, and I can’t wait, And I can't wait. I have done a lot of fighting, Mostly you just see the writing, Times when I felt bolts of lighting, Times when I felt like you liked me. You would love to take your clothes off, You would hate to taste the word love, Mix them up and send them off, 2 am straight to my inbox. But I could really use some sleep, The kind where you’re right next to me, I could pretend that your special, Truly this is just my default. That way you can keep me up, I know the script, it’s not too much, What else is there anyway, Find out and send that my way. Everyone I want is home where it’s safe, And I can’t wait, and I can’t wait, And I can't wait.
3.
Persephone 02:30
Oh pretty thing you blend in with the snow. I met you in the summer so you thought I wouldn’t know. Its topical not tropical in Ithaca New York, And God knows that I miss it there. Persephone I hope you’re keeping warm. I hope you’re chasing waterfalls with effervescent form. I don’t know if you miss me but I pray I’m on your mind. Cause I still can’t go anywhere. There’s all this bleakness in winter, It’s lasted all damn year, And all this meekness that splinters, The happiness I fear. A solid pause on everything I’d planned, And all I had prepared, My answers are a questionnaire. Persephone you said it to my face, I’d never make it anywhere by standing in one place. So I learned a second language, and now I can tell you twice, That everything will be ok. I’ll tell you Merry Christmas on the phone, I’ll harmonize to Auld Lang Sine stuck in my room alone, The big things are disasters, but the little things are nice, And I can live with it that way. I know nostalgia is quicksand, A biased ruminate, Dreams of hillsides in Finland, My future demonstrates, How a couple summer Saturdays could never be enough. No a coupe summer Saturdays could never be enough. Give me back those summer Saturdays, oh that would be enough, To tell me it will be ok.
4.
THE BEST TIME TO WEAR A STRIPED SWEATER IS ALL THE TIIIIMMMMEEEEE!!!!
5.
I wanna jump on a board, And fall down the hill, Like I’ve done every year before, But this time the rush just feels like, Something that I really need, To lose control, tumble, and bleed, And at the bottom of the hill I fall asleep. Strap cardboard boxes to my feet, I can’t afford new skis, Compounding fractures, life’s disasters, Coal and trauma come in threes. The holidays are nuts and lonely, Santa’s Pretty Sus if only, He could gift wrap exits from this freeze. *awesome Ben Clifton synth solo* And in the morning I’ll wake up, Before the sun cause she’s got months, Off her day job keeping us, From losing ourselves in our stunts, But how much longer does this go? When do flowers replace snow? Get back to work we could all use the warmth, you know. Then paint me white from head to toe, To blend in with the snow, Lets melt away and mess around, Just two ice sculptures ditching town, We’ll find some chilly places, To mash our silly faces, And hope we don’t spread pathogens around. Oops.
6.
I don’t want anything for Christmas, I’d just like not to spend it all alone. One good thing I’ll say that came out of this, Extended family has to stay at home. I don’t want anything for Christmas, Not even new socks, cause what’s the point? Maybe send a picture saved from last year, Of us just sitting at our local joint. I don't want anything for Christmas, But you could dust the cobwebs off the clutch. I wanna go somewhere in a world I used to know, Warn me first, hit reverse, try not rush. The snow might well be falling, The neighbors hung their holly, The clove and nutmeg brews all left the shelves. But nobody will carol, Every doorbell will be sterile, This year we’re spending Christmas by ourselves. So I don’t need anything for Christmas, I wish I was still young enough for toys, Wrapping paper used to make my heart soar, But now I tend to leave that to the boys. No I don’t want anything for Christmas, Besides a mask, a cooke and some wine, That way when we’re ordered our next lockdown, I can pretend everything is fine. And I don’t want anything for Christmas , Except shockingly, a prick in my arm, And as for science, sing along, rally behind it, It’s been the only answer all along. It’s crazy to imagine not that long ago, We shared a glass, a table, and a room. We’ve always been divided we just didn’t know, Half of us live on the dark side of the moon. I don't want anything for Christmas, Unless Christmas wishes really come true. Cause change is gonna take a goddamn miracle, All I’m really wishing for is some good news.
7.
Oh its been years, you know, The calendar says months, Its always such a liar. All these tears I’ve sold, Correcting mistakes, Then proceeding to set them on fire. Its a penny stock, And I’ve been investing, In ways to distract me from feeling. Doesn’t come a shock, When my battery’s drained, And all I’ve been doing is feeling. Its not that bad, Like the white hairs sneaking their way to the side of my head, And I’m not that sad, Except when I am. And I’ve been turning down my lights, And I’ve been choking on my spit, And I’ve been trying to say it right, I promise I can handle it. And I’ve been smiling with my eyes, Cause I can’t smile with my teeth, Clinging like soggy clothes to life, Desperate to begger all belief. Oh its been minutes since, You walked out that door, And everything seemed to get dimmer. Its a pot on the stove, Boiling over when constantly held at a simmer. Its a simple fix, And I’ve got solutions, That all have fantastical endings. Its an idealistic hope for an answer, To letters I haven’t been sending, And its the worst. So good that it scares me I’m bracing for it to explode, But I might first, And honestly I kind of want to. And I’ve been turning down my lights, And I’ve been choking on my spit, And I’ve been trying to say it right, I promise I can handle it. And I’ve been smiling with my eyes, Cause I can’t smile with my teeth, Clinging like soggy clothes to life, Desperate to begger all belief. Oh we have years, you know, The calendar says months, I might keep on teasing. Oh these fears, they grow, But car-side confessions can render them tempered and pleasing. Its a thrill park ride, Flipping in circles, Before leaving you to your resting. And if I can confide, With ferris wheel secrets, I’ve spent this disaster investing. Its not all bad, Like the time I showed you the first verse that I wrote for this song, You called it sad, We both got that wrong.
8.
Bells 03:15
I’ve got a wish for you, To reset all the madness, Big dead trees with lights, Have not been known to save us. We used to be grinches, That’s before we knew, If you thought that was bad, Give it a year or two. I’ve never been prepared to, Find you in the snow, That’s not my place you know, So I left you there. And man it was cold, And oh! it didn’t matter, Christmas is for hope, And we left that in last year. Ooh ooh ooh. Light your pretty candles, Light up 8 or 9, This feels just like the end times... Wait, are these the end times? No. Look at all of history, Wars and plagues are due, And we’ll figure it out, Just like we always do. Whimsical and promising, The words we make up, Forward is a choice, You make when you’re all fed up, And man I’m all full, And oh you should be too, If tinsel can bring peace, Then maybe so can you. Oooh, ooh, oh. Oh I just don’t wanna go home again. I couldn’t even tell you how many months it’s been. No I just don’t wanna to home again. Then don’t, leave, yet. We’re so close to the end. Oh don’t leave, yet. We’re so so so so close, To the end.
9.
I don’t want anything for Christmas, I’ve got enough things cluttering my shelves, I don’t want anything for Christmas, I’ll settle for seeing the clock strike 12. I don’t want anything for Christmas, Spike my eggnog like a porcupine, I don’t want anything for Christmas, A little more and everything seems fine. I don’t want anything for Christmas, We’re all so bad at shopping anyway, I don’t want anything for Christmas, I just want to wake up on New Years Day. I don’t want anything for Christmas, I wish I was still young enough for toys, I don’t wan’t anything for Christmas, But now I’m wasting all my time on boys. I don’t want anything for Christmas, We used to all break every rule we read, I don’t want anything for Christmas, Some days I can’t believe we’re not all dead. Oh I don’t want anything for Christmas, So fill your glass and raise it to the sky, Cause we don’t want anything for Christmas, This year we’re just trying not to die.
10.
The city cancelled light up night, First night and everything in between. This rollercoaster appetite, Stock up on blankets and Dramamine. The city still lights up at night, Will it ever be the same? Not quite. At least try to put up a fight, At least try to put up a fight. It doesn’t feel right, It doesn't feel right, The space we have to keep, I can’t keep it clean. But on a good night, When was the last good night? At least I can get some sleep, Or try to at least. It’s cold as hell, it’s a long road, Give me classic I told you so. What’s that ahead? More fucking snow. What’s that ahead? I don’t wanna know. And looking back, I feel the same, Our wasted time and stolen aims, A year on pause, left on the shelf, I guess I’m fixing this myself. It doesn’t feel right, It doesn't feel right, The space we have to keep, I can’t keep it clean. But on a good night, When was the last good night? At least I can get some sleep, Or try to at least. It doesn’t feel right, It doesn't feel right, The space we have to keep, I can’t keep it clean. But on a good night, When was the last good night? At least I can get some sleep, Or try to at least. At least I can get some sleep (or try to at least). Taking on a world I never could've seen, I’m becoming things I didn’t used to be, I don’t know what I’m supposed to think, God what a waste letting that get to me. I don’t know if I’ll see you again, I don’t know if I’ve found a friend. I’ll shout my greeting to the ceiling and then, Cry God why’d I let that get to me? Taking on a world that's never felt so mean, I’m becoming what I see on my phone screen, I don’t know what I’m supposed to think, God what a waste letting that get to me. I don’t know if I’ll see you again, I don’t know if I wanna stay friends, I’ll keep on reeling while I’m making amends, Oh God why’d I let that get to me? I don’t know when I’ll see you again, I don’t know why we try to stay friends, I’ll keep on regretting what I’m getting and then, Cry God why’d I let that get to me? I don’t know if I’ll see you again, I don’t know if I wanna stay friends, I’ll keep regretting that I’m letting it get to me, God why’d I let that get to me? Welcome to a world we’ve never seen, Becoming things we said we’d never be, I don’t know what I’m supposed to think, What a waste letting that get to me.
11.
12.

about

The third in my annual last minute December holiday EP series. The arbitrary rules are as follows: no songs can be started (writing, production, or otherwise) before December 4th and must conform to a predetermined theme. This year’s entry ended up as a full album and marks the debut of mine and Daniela Surra’s band: Hiding from Helicopters. In lieu of a more specific theme we approached the project as a retrospective on 2020 from the holiday perspective.

credits

released December 23, 2020

All songs written and performed by Hiding from Helicopters.
Tracks 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, and 9 mixed by Simon Barracchini.
Tracks 2, 7, and 10 mixed and mastered by Michael Gaffney.
Lead guitar and additional vocals on “Persephone” by Paco Pluma.
Crowd Vocalists: Emily Wilson, Chad Fairfield, Susannah Enslow, Patrick Regan, Samuel Wilson, Connor McNelis, Brennan Plucknett, Peter Regan, Jess Paul, Simon Barracchini.

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BENNTY Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

I'm not always careful with what I say, so I try to be careful with what I sing.

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