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An Ear to Listen, a Heart to Hear

by Benn T. Wilson

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1.
And it’s rushing, flowing through us now like a current from one to the next, a simple silly conduit, electric adrenaline at its best, and we don't know what it is, but we know we want it all, and we’re just waiting for the end of the world, or at least for these towers to fall, and I say: Grab your clothes, grab your cash, the sun is going down, get your boys, get your girls, tonight we take this town. We own the night yea we’re just kids, tryn' to remember all the things we did, last night when the whole thing's such a blur. Hair and eyes and friendships born, every little cliche that defies the norm, if dashboards could speak oh the stories they would stir, of me my boys and girls screaming “Its our turn!” It keeps flowing through us now, the night infecting us with cyanide joy, a single human entity, the lights are out and the town is our toy, and we don't know what it is, but we know we’re here to stay, we’ll be kings and queens till the end of the world, or at least till the light of day and you say We own the night yea we’re just kids, tryn' to remember all the things we did, last night when the whole thing's such a blur, blonde hair blue eyes fair of form, every little cliche that defies the norm, you had your chance you f̶u̶c̶k̶e̶d̶ messed it up with her, so move on over now buddy its my turn. We own the night yea we’re just kids, tryn' to remember all the things we did, last night when the whole thing's such a blur. Fires are burning clothes are torn, our cliches pile up we exclude ourselves from the norm, our minds bring back the stories memories stir, this town is our dance floor baby its our turn.
2.
Lyrics: And I find that I have trouble saying what I want in a four minute song. Thoughts and feelings and words and needs and what I’ve felt all along. I’ve written three four five no a dozen but just can get the words right How do you paint what you hear in music, how do you sing a sight? Every great composer, every famous pop star, every rocker sings the same words. Every great singer, every great ballad, it's the same every love song I’ve heard. Guitar, piano, four chords and “I love you” and it all sounds just fine. So how do I take whats been said for forever now that their feelings are mine? Cause it's all been said so many times, how do I sing it now? Finally it's all real to me, but I just cant figure out how. How do I tell you that when you walk in the room, the whole world seems to start? How do I tell you that when I feel your touch my words trip over my heart? How can I try to write you the perfect song when I can barely sing? How can four chords be enough to tell you you’re everything, you’re everything? Now I’ve tried poems and I’ve tried ballads but every time I pick up a pen, the same words spill out, ink on the paper, crumpled to a ball again. Cause every time that I try to express it, it comes out a jumbled mess. Every time I mean every word but i want to sing, not confess Cause it's all been said so many times, how do I sing it now? Finally it's all real to me, but I just cant figure out how. How do I tell you that when our eyes meet a smile springs to my face? How do I tell you every time you're in pain, I cry “God let me take her place!” How can I try to write you the perfect song...girl I can barely sing How can four chords be enough to tell you that you're everything, you're everything? Now it's all come out in a rush, yet still I’m just at the start. Infinite wishes, infinite longing, infinite depths to my heart. Four chords sung over four minutes to guess at a four letter word And I hope that somehow through my scattered ramblings, once and for all you've heard: That every time you speak my name I want you to say it once more. Every time that I give up you give me something new to try for, I will never write you the perfect song, but I hope that you now see, No matter what I want, I need you to know you are everything, you’re everything, to me. Yes you're everything, you're everything to me. You are everything, everything. Love is too much to try to express when confined to a four minute song.
3.
Little Vee crying cause unlike mom and dad, the storybooks forgot her name. Letting tears flow free weeping quick seeking mommy’s life wish she had the same. Looking out ‘cross the world watching daddy do his work trying to repeat what she sees, but can't help wondering then crying out loud "Papa don’t you have an arrow for me?" Little Red, pseudonym, but nobody cares, cause that's how the storybook goes. The world looking in, speculating, sporting, identity the color of her clothes. if anybody bothered if the hood was pulled back, if they dodged the vocal gossip combat, maybe raven black hair or golden blonde dreams, but no one wants to know about that. So I try to, turn the page, find subtext, re-write what the margins scream. Look beyond, the surface words, cause they are not as they seem. The girl in the hood and the daughter of love, a comparison may seem frail, but they have stories and I have dreams, and both, are a fairytale. Little me story time, mentally replacing, the hero’s name with my own. Save the land, get the girl, share the wisdom I’ve been shown. Bring it back to the world of boys and girls it was made for in the first place, but don't forget the words that I scrawled in the empty margin space. Little vee, little Red, little me, in my head, little life real-estate. Little joys, little toys, little thoughts, little boys, simple minds create. I’ll grow a year, or two or ten, but never cease to be, a little boy crying out to daddy and mom: "but what about Red and Vee?” Cause I wish I could, Turn the page, find subtext, re-write what the margins scream. Look beyond, the surface words, cause they are not as they seem. The girl in the hood and the daughter of love, a comparison may seem frail, but they have stories and I have dreams, and both, are a fairytale. if I turned the page, found subtext, re-wrote what the margins scream. Looked beyond the surface words, and found what I could glean: a scribble in the words of the ending line, a new story to be staged, Happily ever after only lasts till you turn the page.
4.
She said “hey there boy would you come here for a second? It's Christmas eve and I don’t have a date." He shrugged and said why not, he had nothing better to do “Lets move along now or we’ll be late.” And as they danced the night away, something stirred within their hearts, something stirred within their souls, and both them knew. Sixteen years old on Christmas eve, and all else fell away, and he knew she could feel it too. He drove her to the party, they walked into the front door, and neither of them knew quite what to say. He asked her to dance, she laughed and said “sure, but first could you please tell me your name?” Again they danced the night away, and something stirred within their hearts. Something stirred within their souls, and both them knew. Sixteen years old on Christmas eve, and all else fell away, And she knew he could feel it too A teenage dream or is it love? A passion with no rhyme or reason. Is it real, is it wrong, to drag us all along? Or is it just the magic of the season? Three years passed then high school graduation, and a college scene Christmas eve ball. A hand drew her to the the dance floor and as she looked into his eyes, saw three years had changed nothing at all. So once again they danced the night away, and it stirred within their hearts, familiar stirs within their souls, and both them knew, Nineteen years old on Christmas eve, they couldn’t help but say; “Yeah, I feel it too.” A move a ring a question and an answer. The moment at least was easy to perceive. He could see it going down like they were sixteen again, on the dance floor, on Christmas eve. Again they danced the night away, and it stirred within their hearts, and it stirred within his soul, it was time he knew. Twenty-three years old on Christmas eve, he pulled her to the side, said, "hey I’ve got something to ask you." He said "hey there girl would you come here for a second? Its Christmas eve and I’ve got something to ask you"
5.
Mockingbird 06:06
You can fly, cause you’ve got wings. And you are free, cause you can sing. But she cant fly, and I’m not free. So I’ll sing my song to her, if you’ll sing it for me You can fly, you sing for joy. The sky is your home, the wind your toy. Now take my song, and disappear. Remember it well, so she can hear. Fly...fly far, fly free. Fly, bring her song back to me. I live my life with a smile a second, and I use these as a crutch. But smiles cannot veil the fact, that i miss you, so much. I sing my song to the mockingbird, who shares it with the trees, singing take this half of my broken heart, it does no good for me. A fairytale, a fantasy, a desperate wish, her and me. Now I have wished on a thousand shooting stars, but the sky is cruel, she's still so very far. So fly, fly far fly free, Fly, sail the winds of melody. Do you have any clue how I envy you, the sky being your domain? My wings are broke my feathers soaked, by a never ending rain. Sometimes I could just hack this tree, tear it limb from limb, rip my mockingbird from the sky, and see if it wont sin. If I could i would if I should I might let this songbird fall, but all that's left is to let it repeat the injustice of it all. Yes all that's left is to let it repeat the injustice. So I’ll live my life with a smile a second, and use it as a crutch, Deceiving all, fooling none, I miss you, so much. The subtle song of a mockingbird, its wings a beating blur, takes this song of my broken heart, to deliver it to her. You can fly, but I’m not free I cant get to her. Please tell her this for me.
6.
Columbia 04:27
Lyrics: Streamers are strung, the party’s been planned, family and friends, reporters and fans, all come to see, Columbia fly, the little white dot, enter the sky. I enter the hall, another round down, out came a call, a spectacle sound, a little black box, on a little brown case, and the the little white dot etched on everyone’s face. And softly I cry, the wind blows, the angels, I watch as they die, the white dot small implodes, the newscaster drags on the crime that I felt, one round to go but the checkmate’s already been dealt, the checkmate's already been dealt. The sun shines bright on a cold and dark hour, but i cant take my eyes off the meteor shower. i thought to myself, if I could fly, would i break and burn as I entered the sky? And slowly I realize I’m helpless to act, I can't save their lives, I can't hold them back. A life that has nothing to do with me, can't stop me from staggering in the debris. Streamers torn down, left with a pale stain, thoughts leave my mind, seven remain. My knees hit the floor as the flames crease the sky, then break down and weep, as Columbia dies.
7.
Lyrics: It’s not ending stop pretending all these reasons you’re defending don’t change how i feel. And I'd like to take a moment to divide a broken quotient of a heart made out of steel. But if the fire’s hot enough to smelt, even the most iron of hearts will melt. And this is now the case here or seemingly appears when told to you by me. For all your dodging and evading and your running and your hiding I know you also see. The way you make me melt inside, and the way you make me want to cry. But then you draw the line. You put up walls you bide your time. You push your feelings six feet down and smile. And I just want to scream: What am I doing wrong, all this time? Why cant you open up, have to hide? We both know what we have is real, but your not ready for that. I'm sorry for confusion but I'm under the illusion that solutions cant be found. Cause all of it is easy though i know its kinda cheesy to just not make a sound. But once it's said it can't be not, and I don't want to though I ought, to run into your arms and be caught within your charms in a blissful free allure. But holding hands is pleasing and though it's kinda teasing it still feels secure. But that is it i draw the line. I put up walls I bide my time. It's not that I don't want you too. It's just that, I’m not you. And I just want to scream: What am I doing wrong, all this time? Why cant you open up, have to hide? We both know what we have is real. Why aren’t you ready for that? I’m sorry that I cant, open up. I’m sorry that I wont, let you feel. I’m sorry if I (you lead me) lead you on. But I’m not ready for this. Now i know all that i say is impractically cliche but that doesn't change the truth. The truth that you now haunt me tease and touch and taunt me, manipulate my youth. My mind is young, my heart is old. My hopes are children, my eyes are cold. Inexperience seduced by the aura you produce when you claim to love me back, and the crash of disappointment when you let your thoughts lie dormant to passively attack. Attack me where i live most weak, attack me when I hope and seek, I look across the table at you and smile. And hold back my scream. What am I doing wrong, all this time? Why cant you open up, have to hide? Don’t we both know that this is real? Why aren’t you ready for that? It's not that I don’t want, to open up. It's not that I wont try, let you feel. I cant help it that I (you lead me) lead you on, but I’m not ready for this. When you look across the table I wish that I were able to meet your gaze with mine. But I know that that's not changing though a good show we are staging when i tell you that I'm fine..
8.
So let me get this straight. You had the news, so why did you wait? Your complexion, is tearing me apart, that ripping sound you hear is a heart. Around the corner round the bend, comes the words of a friend. Singing: Now, she's gone, and I know it's got you down, yeah I know it's got you down. The cornerstone, of grief is coming down the street, yeah it's coming down to meet, you at your broken heart of honesty, where I say, you may have lost her but you cant lose me. So let me get this right. It wasn’t a lie till it was brought into the light? Your rationales are failing at best, so grow up, and face this mess. Around the corner round the bend, the reasoning of a friend. Singing: Now, she's gone, and I know it's got you down, yeah I know you're pretty down. The cornerstone, of grief is coming down the street, yeah it's coming down to meet, you at your broken heart of honesty, where I say, you may have lost her but you cant lose me. Why oh why must you push this far? Isn't it enough to break my heart? Was everything a lie, every last kiss? I thought we had more than this. I thought you were more than this. I thought I was more than this. I thought we were more than this. Singing: Now, she;s gone, and it has brought me down, yeah it's torn me so far down. The cornerstone, of grief is coming down the street, yeah its coming down to meet, me at my broken heart of honesty, and its true, she's gone for good, but I’ll fight for you. I won't lose you. No I can't lose you.
9.
Moonlit streams, kiss the sky. As I compose a lullaby. A sunset song, farewell till dawn, the night is drawing nigh. A crystal glance, a peaceful sigh, emotions growing wings to fly, beauty’s edge, life’s last ledge, await me in my dreams. So curl, curl tight, lean into my side. We can be us with no troubles to hide. Let our peace and heartbeats and dreams collide. Every minute a moment ten thousand hearts wide. Perfect truths, lifelong lies, every reason to laugh and cry, no distractions, all implies: peace meets us tonight. So curl, curl tight, lean into my side. We can be us with no troubles to hide. Let our peace and heartbeats and dreams collide. Every minute a moment ten thousand hearts wide. Now I say my last farewell. You're drifting out to dream as well. We part for now, but we’ll meet soon, I’ll see you in my dreams. Minds can meet past distant shores, memories bring us close once more, remembering the times before, and all the times to come. Yes all the times to come.

about

A collection of songs written between the ages of 12-18, produced at the age of 19. I've since rebranded.

credits

released August 22, 2013

Written and performed by Benn T. Wilson
Additional Instrumentation and Produced by John Puckett
Mixed and mastered by Rusty Dowie

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BENNTY Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

I'm not always careful with what I say, so I try to be careful with what I sing.

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